Lately I've been feeling anxious, unhappy, stuffy, and feeling a lack of peace in my life and home. I share a one bedroom apartment with my boyfriend and my dog - needless to say, I don't have much personal space. I dream of having an office or a meditation room as a place where I can go to practice tarot, do ritual work, design/craft, or just relax, but it isn't my reality at this time. So I've been searching for ways to find the peace I need in where I am. I took a personal day from work today, as I haven't been feeling well, and desperately need a quiet day at home alone with my dog to rest. My focus today is cleaning and cleansing our home, healing, and to find balance and happiness in where I am.
Full disclosure, most days I find myself repeating the same patterns. I get up in the morning and lazily get ready for work. My commute is about 40 minutes to an hour drive depending on traffic. I spend about 8 hours in an office, with a few breaks here and there, then I'm back on the road for the hour drive home (which always has heavy traffic). When I get home the TV is usually already on. I put on "house clothes" (or pajamas), wash my face, make dinner, and prepare for going to bed. This is my everyday life. Sometimes I may take a bath, which is my alone time, but other than my drive to and from work, I am rarely by myself.
I am an introverted, highly empathic person who NEEDS time alone and quiet time to recharge and to think. I know I'm not the only one here. The point I am trying to make is, I don't get much of that alone time or space and my body and Spirit is feeling it. So how can I change this? I do know that I am more alert and most likely to have meditation time in the mornings, as I usually wake up first. This had been my routine for a while but lately I have been slack.
As I am writing this, I realize that mornings may be my "me" times and that is the answer. I need to create a daily ritual of pulling tarot cards, journaling, meditating, or whatever I feel the need to do. (It would be WONDERFUL if I could incorporate yoga or some movement into this.) I'd also like to dedicate more time to practicing reiki. I have been trying to practice before bed and I always fall asleep. Not a bad thing, but I'd like to be conscious during this - haha.
A lot of my meditation time is spent in the car. I frequently listen to podcasts and audiobooks. Most of the podcasts I listen to are about health, tarot, the metaphysical and spirituality, so at least there's that.
I find myself thinking about boundaries now. How I can create boundaries in my home and throughout my day. Healthy boundaries are so important. This has been the theme of the year for me in 2019. So I sit now, contemplating all of these things while finishing a cup of coffee. I've already cleaned the kitchen, washed a load of laundry, and did a sage-burning cleanse* in the apartment. The weather is finally feeling like fall here in North Carolina so I have my door and windows open. It is lovely.
*I am working on a post to share the cleansing ritual I did - and why I avoid the term "smudging".
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